ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
