problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
