One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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