Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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