Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
