Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
