the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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