Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize