why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
