Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
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I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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