me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
