I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
