Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
