can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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