I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
