O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize