She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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