I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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