I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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