do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize