I wanna bring you to show and tell
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
