this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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