I'll bet she douches with gravy.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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