You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
