dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize