Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
