I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
