I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
