So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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