Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
