just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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