dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
