Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
