I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
