whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
nutella sex= disaster
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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