hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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