i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
