i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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