youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
