There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Terrible idea I love it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
