I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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