You work out of a Hotel?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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