too bad you live with your parents still
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
