He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
