just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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