He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
