Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he thought i was a dude.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
