your thong is hanging out like whoa
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize