TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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