so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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