Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize