he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
