I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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