We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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