So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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