Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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