forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
