I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
