I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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