they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
