this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
