I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I won the penis lottery.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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