how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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