I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
