You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
