He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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