i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
...so i touched it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
