When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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